I've had these thoughts stirring up in my mind for way too long now, and it's finally time to speak up and come clean. I feel like I'm getting too caught up in this whole 'blogging world'. I feel like I've lost sight of why I started this blog in the first place. Everything that consumes my mind these days is how many followers I have (on my blog, Instagram, etc.), how many 'likes' I get on my pictures, how many comments I get, and how it's never enough. I'm never as good as 'so and so', I'm never as pretty, I'm never as popular. This person has more followers than me, that person got way more 'likes' on their picture than me, this person's style is way better than mine... It's taking over my life in such a negative way. I'm tearing myself down. I literally get sad about the amount of 'likes' I get on Instagram pictures. I'm embarrassed that others will think I'm a loser. Yeah, it's that bad. This isn't what it should be like. This isn't how I should feel. This isn't what I thought it would be.
I'm the worst offender of comparing myself to others. Other bloggers are better. What am I bringing to the table? Am I really that creative or innovative? Cool, I can wear pants and a top. Who cares? But I didn't even start this blog with the intentions of being the best there is. I didn't care about followers, likes, or comments. I started it because I wanted to share my life and personal style with my family and friends. Nothing less, nothing more. I wanted to inspire women to be comfortable with themselves in their own skin, and I feel like somewhere along the way, I lost that. I can't even tell you guys how many times I have thought about quitting. There are so many other bloggers out there, that it's nearly impossible to not look at all of them and think, well, what makes me so special? But the truth is: I am special.
I'm special because I'm real. I'm special because, just like you, I have days where I hate looking in the mirror. I'm special because I am who I am. Somehow I've convinced myself that I'm not all that special, and I've realized I'm completely being the biggest hypocrite. I'm here to make YOU feel beautiful, when I'm feeling nothing but ugly inside. Life isn't about how many 'likes' you get on pictures or how many followers you have on your blog. It doesn't define you! I don't know why it has taken me so long to realize that. I feel like blogging (to me) has turned into a race or a game of 'Keeping up with the Jones'' when in reality, it all doesn't matter. I love blogging and love the people I have gotten to meet through blogging, and just for that reason, I will always be grateful for it. I'm wiping my hands clean of the crazy lady in me. Life will go on if I don't have thousands of 'likes' on a photo. Right?! ... ;)
I know that was incredibly long, but I feel like it's something I've needed to get off my chest for some time now. After all, that's what blogging is for right? It's just a journal that I get to share with all of you. And it's so wonderful that I get to do that. I love all of you so much, you have no idea! Thank you for always supporting me through this little blog of mine.