A month ago today was the best day of our lives. Our beautiful baby boy was born. After 3 1/2 years of infertility, a single moment made everything all worth it. The moment I first laid my eyes on him is a moment I will never ever forget.

I had been having contractions off and on that whole week. I actually went to the hospital that Tuesday thinking I could be in labor because my contractions were pretty close together. Unfortunately they sent me home after almost two hours of walking around labor and delivery because I wasn't progressing. I felt so sad, disappointed, and just straight up exhausted at that point. I remember coming home from the hospital and taking a hot shower and just crying. As much as I loved being pregnant, I was just ready to meet my baby.

I worked the rest of that week, and said my goodbyes that Friday, hoping that would put good baby vibes into the universe. My boss told me, "Hey, I love ya, but I better not see you on Monday." And sure enough, he didn't. Later that night we were at my in-laws for dinner, and I kept having contractions. They were consistently getting worse, but still bearable. My mother in law was in the middle of teaching us how to do infant CPR when they started getting worse. They were harder to breathe through, harder to talk through--everything they told us in our childbirth class. On our drive home they kept getting more painful and closer together. I decided to just lay on the couch when we got home to see if they would go away with rest. I was not about to go to the hospital only for them to send me home again! I needed to be sure. My contractions were progressively getting worse and my husband finally made the decision. It was time.

We arrived at the hospital around 11 that night and I was dilated to a 5 and 90% effaced. They had me walk around for about 20 (unbearable) minutes, and then I was dilated to a 6. My contractions were pretty bad at that point, and I was so ready for my epidural! As soon as they admitted me to a room, the anesthesiologist came in shortly after and gave me the good stuff. I was honestly the most scared for the epidural, and it was so quick and painless, I don't know why I was so terrified! It was an absolute godsend. We all tried to get some rest as my labor progressed, but I was just too excited to sleep at all. Finally at 8 that next morning, I was ready to start pushing.

The pushing was the hard part. It would have been fine if it was an hour, even two hours, but that third hour was the most insane thing of my life. I just felt so defeated. I felt like I LITERALLY couldn't do it anymore. My hands were shaking every time I had to push, they were too weak to even grip the handle bars at that point. There was no way I could have done it without Taylor right by my side, coaching me through it all. He was the absolute best. He counted through my pushes every single time. He was the best coach. I was getting so nervous that the doctor would have to use a vacuum to get him out. His head was turned to the side, so the doc had to go in and turn his head down. After that, things seemed to go a little smoother. Every push I was closer and closer, then I could see his head! The doctor let me touch his head and it was the craziest thing ever! A couple more pushes and there he was. The most perfect human with the fullest head of HAIR! I instantly fell in love. This kind of love that you just can't explain. This overwhelming, heart-bursting, adrenaline inducing kind of love. I was uncontrollably sobbing my eyes out. I couldn't stop. It was the happiest, most exhausting moment of my life. When they put him on my chest, this calm came over him and he just laid there. He was with his mama. Our little Brooks boy. I had never felt more at peace. And everything was perfect. Until it wasn't.

They moved us to our postpartum room shortly after delivery, and we were all just enjoying our time with the baby. About an hour later, they had to take him for a minute to do some tests, and the nurse came back and told us his temp was too low, so they had to put him under some lights. It sucked he didn't get more time with us, but we were okay, since it didn't seem too concerning. I tried to get some rest after everyone had left, but the nurse came knocking about 15 minutes later. She said he had a heart murmur and his oxygen levels were low, so they needed to keep him longer and monitor him. THEN she proceeded to come in later and tell us his blood sugars were low and that he needed to be on antibiotics. I hated that nurse (I later loved her so much, but hated her at that moment) because she just kept bringing in more and more bad news. Every time I heard a knock on our door, I thought it would be someone bringing our baby back. The next knock was one of the residents working that day. He sat down and explained to me, in my completely exhausted state after being awake for 36 hours and delivering a baby a few hours before, that Brooks would have to be in the NICU because the nursery would not be able to monitor him with everything that was going on with him. I immediately starting crying. The guy probably thought I was a mess! But I was. Like why was all of this happening?! I just had him in my arms a few hours ago and he was perfect, but they kept telling me otherwise. It was the hardest thing. A few hours later though, the nurse came back and let me know that they were going to actually keep him in their "special" nursery (I seriously can't remember what they called it) that was like a step under the NICU, but with more personal attention. They only had Brooks and one other baby in there the whole time, so they watched him closely. They had to wheel me back there every time I had to feed him, and that itself was so hard. I was so exhausted, running on no sleep, and I had to sit in a wheelchair for a good hour while he tried to nurse. We had a hard time with that as well because of course he had a freaking tongue tie!

We really did not think we were going to be able to bring him home with us because of everything going on with him. Then on top of it all, he was jaundice as well, so the last day he was on bilirubin lights all night and morning. If his levels didn't go down he would have to stay at the hospital. Luckily, a few hours after we got discharged, they let us know we would be able to bring him home that day! He would have to be on the bilirubin lights at home, but at least he would be home with us. We were so happy and excited. I was an emotional mess when we got home, but that's a post for a whole other day. ;)

Life with Brooks has been the best. It was hard at first, and still is so hard, but I think we're finally getting the hang of things around here. Even though labor and delivery was so difficult, it was also beautiful and amazing. I'm just so glad he's here safe and healthy. We love him so, so much.



Maternity leggings: Preggo Leggings c/o

Ah! Hey guys! I'm blogging! Haha. I told myself I was going to blog so much during this pregnancy, and I really haven't at all. I'm terrible! But better late than never, right?! I wanted to give you guys a little update on what's been happening with my pregnancy/life lately. I'm just going to do a little Q&A because I get asked so many questions on the daily so let's just do them all here! 

How far along are you?

Currently I'm 33 weeks! Time has flown by!

Have you been sick?

Other than my mishap with going to the hospital a couple weeks ago (you can read about it here) with the worst rib pain ever, I've actually been feeling pretty great! Sickness sort of comes and goes but hasn't been bad at all.

 What's your go-to pregnancy outfit?

Honestly it has been more difficult than I thought it was going to be to dress a bump. At first, it was so easy and fun, then as I got bigger and bigger it has definitely been a challenge to find things that fit properly. I'm OBSESSED with my maternity leggings (here) from Preggo Leggings. The best thing was that I still fit in my normal size! Haha. It's such a bummer when you feel like you need to go up a size when you're pregnant! I also love that they're a style I would normally wear not pregnant as well. I've also been a big fan of bodycon dresses because most have stretched enough to fit my growing bump! 

Do you guys have a name yet?

I think we are set on a name, though we are (kind of) keeping it a secret until he's born!

Any weird cravings?

I've only had a few cravings, and most were at the beginning of my pregnancy! One day I REALLY wanted peach cobbler, so I went out and bought all the ingredients and we ate peach cobbler for a whole week, haha! Other than that, just sweets in general. I never really had a sweet tooth until now and it's been rough! 

Best thing about being pregnant?

Honestly, I LOVE being pregnant. I've been extremely lucky and have had a really great pregnancy so far. My body really loves it. The best thing has been feeling him move around in there. Lately his feet are constantly in my ribs, so that's been fun, haha, but it really is the coolest thing. When his foot is just poking out and I can just push it back in, like holy crap, it's the craziest, most awesome thing! Taylor thinks it's so creepy but I think it's the most magical. I just love the fact that I'm growing a human in general. I can't get over how amazing it really is. All the feels, guys. 

Worst thing about being pregnant? 

Like I said, I've been SO lucky to have a great pregnancy. So, at the risk of sounding like a total alcoholic, the worst thing about pregnancy has been not being able to drink my wine! Haha! Not that I've been tempted whatsoever, but that first glass after all of this is going to be SO SO GOOD. Also the back pains have been pretty bad, but nothing a warm bath can't help. :)

I think those are the main questions I get asked! If you guys have any other questions please let me know! I have so many distant buddies and friends out there who have wanted to be updated so I don't want to miss any details! Love you all, thanks for always sticking around! 



[Sorry for the pic overload but they are just too good!]
I think we will always remember May 13, 2017 as one of the best days of our lives. After three years of diligently trying, it finally happened for us. We are pregnant. And I don’t think I will ever get sick of saying that. By far one of my most favorite phrases ever.

I haven’t written in so long, because I feel like, for the longest time, I was just walking around with this weight on me. This sadness. This depression. It lingered around for quite a while, and it was hard for me to write about. It was hard for me to sit there and put my emotions into words, because there weren’t any words left to describe what I had been feeling for so long. It was almost like there was a darkness that was hovering over me, over our marriage, over both of us. We knew we were missing something. There really was no way of comforting one another, because the truth was, we didn’t know when it was going to happen for us. It’s so hard when there is so much unknown.

Then on Saturday, May 13th, the day before Mother’s Day, it all fell together. I took a few tests, and sent pictures to my mom thinking they were negative because that second line was so faint. She called me immediately to tell me that it really is positive! There was a definite line there, and it was positive. It didn’t happen exactly how I pictured in my head, but the fact that my mom was the one to tell me I was pregnant was probably the best way it could have happened. The moment she told me, “babe, you’re pregnant!” was a moment that I will never forget. I instantly started bawling and just kept asking, “I’m pregnant?!” and “Are you serious?” and “This can’t be happening! How is this happening?!” because I literally could not believe it was actually happening. I was home alone while Taylor was out washing his truck, so I had a couple minutes to compose myself and think about how I was going to tell Taylor. All these years, I thought I would tell him in this cute, romantic way, but then when it actually came down to it, I had no idea. He finally got home and sat in his truck for what felt like a million years just cleaning the inside of his truck, until I decided to just go out there because I couldn’t contain myself. I knock on his window, he opens the door, and I say, “Guess what?... I’m pregnant!” And then immediately again, we are both in tears just hugging each other in the driveway for a good 10 minutes. We were both in shock. We couldn’t believe this was happening! We just kept saying, “Holy crap. This is really happening.” And it is. It’s happening!

I took about 5 more tests after that, ya know, just to be sure. And sure enough, they all kept coming back positive, and even more clear each time. It still didn’t feel real. I feel like I'm living a real life fairy tale. We are finally getting our happy ending. A baby!! I am over 13 weeks now, and have been feeling so great. The sciatica pains are pretty strong, and I just started getting some round ligament pain, (sharp pains in my belly) but really that has been the worst of it. Pregnancy is so magical, and I'm still amazed everyday that I am growing a human being in my belly. I don't want to say that I love being pregnant more than other pregnant women, but when you have wanted and longed for something so bad for so long, I really believe there is just a stronger appreciation there. We have waited for this day for years and we just feel so, so lucky that this little BOY has already blessed our lives so much. I feel such a connection with him already. We are just the happiest. 

Thank you all so much for all the love you've already shown to us! We are lucky to be surrounded by the best people who have been there for us through our hardest times, and now through our best. We can't wait (actually, we can because I love being pregnant!) to meet our little boy! It feels so good to say that!!