For months now I've been going over and over in my head what I wanted to say in this post. It's such a sensitive topic, not only for me, but for many other women and young girls. Let me just start by saying, this is hard for me. I'm going to be super vulnerable, for the whole world to see. So bear with me! Here we go...
I've been skinny pretty much my whole life, until about a few years ago. Then ever since I feel like I've been battling my weight, and that's when the body image issues kicked in. I find myself constantly looking in the mirror and hating everything: my thighs are too thick, my butt is too big, my arms are too flabby. Then I go for a run, or go to the gym and feel good for a little while, but then the feelings will rush back in. It's so hard to explain the feeling. It's like a vicious cycle. The feeling is so intense that it stresses me out to the point of anxiety, and sometimes depression. As women, it's like we have this idea in our head of what we're supposed to look like, and we kill ourselves trying to achieve that. And when we don't meet that achievement, we end up feeling defeated.
My insecurity issues started when I was in about 6th grade. My body started developing before any of the other girls, I pretty much towered over every other kid (haven't grown since), and I had different colored skin. (I've since come to love the color of my skin, of course, but when you're young and different than everyone else, it sucks.) Girls (and boys!) started calling me names like 'slut' and 'skank' and the name-calling led me to feel excluded, alienated, and down-right just not good enough. I never fit in with the 'cool' kids or the pretty girls and I just remember constantly feeling alone and insecure. As much as I always try to push these feelings away, they always manage to sneak their way back in. The insecurity, the body image issues, the loneliness.
As a blogger, you definitely put yourself out there to the world, and it is extremely frightening. This blog has kind of become my baby. I've put my heart and soul into it, seriously. It has become something that makes me feel happy and confident, and I've loved every second of it. It has made me grow as a person, and help me fall back in love with myself, and regain my confidence. From the very beginning, I've wanted to use my blog as a platform to help empower women, and to help them love themselves, and feel secure and confident. So I hope by sharing my story and my battle, I can do so. Life can make it really hard to lose yourself and forget what matters most, but I think it's so important for us to realize this and bring ourselves back down to earth. Loving yourself is one of the most important things in the world you can do, yet it's something that's so easily looked over. So, now you know my story. Here's to choosing to empower women instead of bringing them down. Have an amazing day! Thank you so much for taking the time to visit my little corner of the internet.